I love my kids, I really do, but sometimes they are just strange, very strange. Here is the collection of things they store in the refrigerator or freezer. I no longer question their motives. 1. A cranberry seed 2. A plastic eel 3. A penny 4. A smooth river rock 5. A bottle of candy snow from Florida Christmas vacation 6. A container of snow from winter 2010 7. A strawberry Push Pop 8. A watermelon Push Pop 9. Another container of snow from winter 2010 10. Another cranberry seed (split in 2)
7:56 AM - This is just a gimmick, it was a challenge over a year ago when I didn't or couldn't or wouldn't do this. And now it comes a little easier, but that doesn't mean it isn't hard. Some days are easier that others, some nights a little longer, some words a little more challenging. I glance out the window of my world this morning over a tasty cup of coffee and wonder what is next, and I stop-like slam into a wall stop, rather abruptly. 8:22 AM - I expect my life to be full of ups and downs and lefts and rights, and sometimes a little crooked. I also know that in between, there is solid ground. It may not be much, but knowing there's a surface you can stand on is a pleasant feeling. Now it may mean that you are puddle jumping all day to find this solid ground, but heck, splashing every now and again is fun. 7:34 PM - "If the stars should appear but one night every thousand years how man would marvel and stare." ~ Emerson 9:28 PM - The house goes quiet, the kids are in bed. Looking around, I'm feeling disorganized after this week. Do I need organization? Yeah, I think I do. I'm the guy that lines up the spices in the cabinet like perfect little soldiers, I alphabetize the wine (usually), everything has a place, and if it doesn't have a place, then I probably do not need it. 9:37 PM - But there are secrets. My bedroom closet is full of things I no longer need or no longer want, the pile just keeps getting bigger and I keep putting off the final cleansing. There's the junk drawer in the kitchen, there's the "misc" folder on my laptop. I suppose we all carry some junk in the trunk. 9:49 PM - Then there are the things you want in your life. And they are not really that organized, in fact, they are very organic in nature. These most important aspects of life are very much like you and like me, they have two each of arms and legs, five (or sometimes more) senses and compassion. They have ears to listen when you need to talk and a voice to speak when you need conversation. These things are impossible to tame, fluid, sometimes a little crazy but you love them anyways. 10:04 PM - Of course there are some things that end up in the closet that cannot be permanently disposed of. The sit there quietly collecting dust but occasionally they come out to rear their ugly head. A gentle reminder that they will always be there, just shoved off into a less prominent place in life. They have an indirect connection to the now and their own dark corner of the closet. 2:50 AM - "If you cant sleep, then get up and do something instead of lying there worrying. Its the worry that gets you, not the lack of sleep." ~ Dale Carnegie 5:59 AM - I think I dream too big sometimes, take more on that I can handle, fail to ask for help when I should. 8:17 AM - Yeah, it's permanently tattooed as an everyday reminder 9:38 AM - So here's to friends and people I haven't thrown into the closet. To the rest, screw you, I'll be civil and respectful as long as you return the favor. Just remember, if you come out from under the pile and attack me like dust bunnies often do, I will smack you with a broom without thinking twice, consider yourself warned.
I fired a shot without possession of a gun You returned fire with accuracy I walked the line and paused You stood straight and tall I sang a song and danced a jig You hummed a familiar tune I called a thousand times You might not answer And we'll walk and converse In our other life
Back in the day, you would have made a mix tape to express your feelings-well, screw the feelings, here's a random assortment of musical funky fantastic for your pleasure, just open your ears and ignore the sappy...
- INXS - Kick - Tiny Daggers
- Opus - Live is Life - Live Is Life
- Conor Oberst and the Mystic Valley Band - Outer South - Nikorette
- Jessie J - Who You Are - Price Tag
- MGMT - Time To Pretend - Time To Pretend
- Pearl Jam - Unspacer - Unthought Known
- The Mighty Mighty Bosstones - Let's Face It - The Impression That I Get
- We Were Promised Jetpacks - These Four Walls - Quiet Little Voices
- Sister Hazel - 11411 - Great Escape
- Foo Fighters - One By One - All My Life
It seems like we are always waiting for something. Waiting in traffic, waiting for a phone call, waiting for an email, waiting on Friday to get here. Waiting for information, waiting on someone, waiting in traffic, waiting in line. There's a whole lot of waiting going on that seems like it is such a waste of time. I need to figure out how to make better use of this time, so I'm compiling a list of things to do while you wait. 1. Send someone you haven't talked to in awhile a quick note, just a simple "hello, how have you been" goes a long way 2. Do some sort of exercise to get that blood flowing 3. Organize and clean out a drawer, cabinet or closet to keep yourself busy. The time will pass much faster 4. Write out a To Do list for the next week 5. Play a game of Eye Spy or Punch Buggy 6. Find a good book and curl up on the couch, feed the mind! 7. Count sheep, llama or some other random animal (This is best done while waiting to fall asleep) 8. Dance! Crank up the stereo and bust a move, no one is watching, right? 9. Go for a walk in the woods, sink into nature-just don't get lost. 10. Make a list of things to do while you wait
There are times in life, there are times in love, there are times in work. And in all these times, there are decisions you make. And there are times when these decisions are not necessarily the right thing to do. And there are times when you make these decisions for the benefit of someone else. And there are times when you make these decisions for the future and for the better of all. And in these decisions, sometimes you take a blow to the head, sometimes you take a shot below the gut, and sometimes you take one for the team in the most uncomfortable of places. And when this happens, sometimes it will backfire, and sometimes it will hurt. And when it does hurt, sometimes it will hurt bad and you wonder why the hell you did what you did. You wonder if the pieces will be able to be picked up and if glue will really be able to fix the mess you have thrown yourself into. And you analyze the events that have transpired and try to make sense of them. You will say "what if [I had done something]" a million times, you will say "if I only [had done something]" and "should I have [done something]." I lost my positivity today... finding my way in song 1. "It's a cold, and it's a very lonely Hallelujah" as I wander through 2. "These little earthquakes, [it] doesn't take much to rip us into pieces" yet you can 3. "Give me life..." and 4. "Show me show me show me how you do that trick" and I'll be 5. "Spinning on that dizzy edge" I recall a day circa 1996 (ish), I was in Virginia traveling for work. We had a big crew on location remodeling a store. I was up there for a week, but I had to come back home on Thursday morning and return on Friday evening (for reasons since forgotten). The first half of the week, I started to have conversations with a woman on the team, well, at that time in life, she was still a girl to me, and I, a boy. We got along well, we stayed up late after work talking about silly senseless things. We drank wine (underage) by the pool, we went swimming in the pool. On Thursday before I left, she told me that I needed to listen to Fly By Night on the drive. I was a Rush fan at the time (and still am), however, I had not heard that particular album and certainly didn't own it. I think I called my sister on my Motorola Startac phone and asked her to pick up a copy for me and I'd meet up with her, or maybe I stopped at multiple record stores on the way home. Either way, I was heading back to Virginia blasting Rush on the stereo. I was advised to specifically listen to In the End. And I did. I returned to Virginia that Friday night. We smuggled a bottle of wine out of the hotel, destination nowhere. And we found that magical mysterious mystical fantastical place on a dock at the edge of some lake. And we sat there. And we talked until dawn. And we drank the wine. And that's all that happened. I soaked in the warmth of a friendship. And we had moments of silence. We used the silent times to connect the dots and draw pictures in the sky. I do not recall her name, nor where she was from. I do not remember the color of her eyes or the tint of her hair. The only fading memory is from a song - "You can take me, you can make me smile in the end" - and we did smile, I remember that. And when the sun made it's way above the horizon, we stood, in that awkward pre-kiss stance that never came to fruition. And we talked about it. And I hesitated again in the awkward pre-hug stance. And she said "in the end" and vanished. "And I can feel what you feel, It just makes me stronger" Dial back to today... I was lucky enough to enjoy last night with a wonderful friend. I laughed so hard that I had a laugh hangover this morning. I smiled so big that I had a smile headache. And we talked. And we laughed some more. I'm all over the place tonight, and not sure I can tie it all back up and successfully deliver a single message. Nope, probably will not happen! I suppose the message of the crazy week I've had is that there are things that happen in life, and people that float through your life. And they mean something. And you may not see it when it's on the table, you may not see it umpteen years from the event. But in the end, it all comes together. 6. "Itsy bitsy yellow polka dot bikini" and I scream 7. "Ooooh, fire" floating on a 8. "Wave of mutilation," you should join me to 9. "Roll up, roll up, for the mystery tour" where we can 10. Brush off all of life's issues, present and future And in the end...