Totally random

Well, it's raining out. I can tell because when I took the dog out, I had small droplets of water falling on me. And then a bolt of lightning went across the sky, followed by some thunder. 1. Where do butterflies go in the rain? I mean, they are pretty delicate creatures, and I would imagine a mildly heavy rain could damage their wings 2. Do dogs in NYC get fleas? I guess I associate fleas with grass and it is the concrete jungle 3. Have you ever see it rain in a cartoon on TV? 4. Why is it that when it's summer time and hot, you can't wait for winter, but in the winter, when it's cold, you can't wait for summer? 5. Isn't the platypus a strange animal?
Photo courtesy of http://www.edu.pe.ca/southernkings/platypus.htm
6. I wear glasses and they get dirty even though they don't really "touch" anything. I suppose it's just from walking around and running into dirt and dust in the air. My question is, for those of you that do not wear glasses, do your eyes get dirty in the same way and how do you clean them, certainly it's not with a lens cloth. 7. I don't get the Disney Channel. I was watching some show earlier tonight, I think it was about 8:30. There was a commercial on for some new episode of some new Disney show and it said "Tonight at 7:00" - so I think Disney is in a different time zone from the rest of the world. 8. I saw that Verizon announced it's 12th birthday today (I think it was today, may have been yesterday). What the heck did we do before cell phones? (I could go on for a whole just10things about what did we do before...)

Photo courtesy of http://www.motorola3watts.com

9. Coffee. I love it. Can't live without it. But seriously, how in the world did someone figure out that you can take the berries off of a plant, remove the flesh, ferment, wash, dry, roast, grind, brew, drink... Well, who ever it was, they were brilliant, I love them! 10. Do you think the mullet will ever come back in style? I was contemplating changing my hair style, but I just can't decide!

Does anyone know what snake shit looks like?

I know, you are sitting there saying, "What the!" Hear me out, OK? So I have this (used to be) Koi pond. They kind of "boiled" last summer from the intense heat and then it became a frog pond. Not exactly, it's always been a co-habitation pond and the frogs have been there since I put it in. 1. So I know what frog shit looks like, it's on my porch almost every morning from May until September 2. I have a new pond resident, a turtle the size of a dinner plate - but he doesn't come out of the pond much (if at all), so I know it's not turtle shit 3. I even have occasional frog shit on the side of my house (that's the tree frogs, they haven't been around much this year) 4. Yeah, I have a dog (puppy), I know what that looks like 5. Every once in awhile, my son will piss outside, but neither of my kids have ever shit outside (and I'll ground them for life if they do) (unless it's an emergency) (which is why you should always carry toilet paper in your vehicle) 6. My neighbor had chickens for a short period of time (see the war), so I once again know what that looks like 7. There was a 5-6 foot long snake on the front porch that startled me a few weeks back when I was taking the garbage out, I became really good at balancing on a rocking chair 8. Once upon a time... I had cats, I was the only one who would clean the litter box, so again, I got that 9. There's a horse stable behind my house, and when the wind it right, it stinks 10. There was an odd piece of shit on my porch today, I wonder, is it the snake?

Retire the racer

Well, this is a tough decision to make, but it has to be made. As much fun as it's been, I'm not getting any younger and I just don't have as much time on my hands any more (see I'll do it now, I'll do it later). I will be retiring from lawnmower racing. There, I said it. I would like, though, one favor... To all the racers in Mobile, AL, may I please come race with you one last time? I'm not sure when, its a long haul from NC and I have a few repairs I need to do before I can run again, but I would be honored to race for the last time with such a great group of people! Afterwards, 404 will be for sale or parted out. 302 will be for sale although she is nothing more than a rolling chassis, but does come with MCP brakes, EC front end, Douglas polished aluminum wheels all around with Carlisle rubber on 1.25" rear axle. To all of the friends I've raced with or met at a race or know because of someone that I have raced with or met at a race, I thank you! You are absolutely the best friends. Never has there been a sport (or anything) where I have felt so at home, like everyone is family. You have watched my children while I've been on the track, we've shared hotel rooms in some distant city, I've had tears in my eyes the first time we met (special shout out there to Brian, hang in there brother, the world is cheering for you!). We've raised awareness together (Mike, can't wait to see the movie) through contributions to the cause. So many more... I'm not leaving you, just the track! It's never been about winning... It's not about crossing the finish line first. I've lost and almost won and lost again. It's the thrill of the moment, the feel of 12 horses between your legs (which is not a safe feeling by the way). It's about gas and grass and 00 grease. Shiny side up and rubber on the dirt. Slinging sod they say! And we all win, because we are in it together. You have all been the biggest extended family I've ever known - love ya, mean it! - talk to you soon!!! (And one last race to come) just10things special report: there will be no just10things tonight  

I’ll do it now, I’ll do it later

Taking a short break from work, let's call it lunch, although there is not a drop of food going into my system, just another cup of coffee and an aspirin or two. There is always something to be done, yet my days seem filled with meeting after meeting and meetings about meetings and follow up meetings. I wonder where my day has gone when it's finally over and my checklist of things to get done looks about the same as it did the day before. We say we can multitask. It makes us feel like we get so much accomplished, until you get that dreaded phone call, or that nasty email-"Hey, did you finish that document?" "Oh, yeah, that's right, I'll do it now." But now is 12 hours into your workday and all you really want to do is go mix a drink a sit on the front porch and relax for an hour or two, listening to the calming songs of the summer before retiring to bed in hopes that you can get some good sleep without waking up in a cold sweat at 3am wondering what it was you needed to get done. So then you decide to say, "Oh, yeah, that's right, I'll do it later. Tomorrow looks pretty open." And then tomorrow comes and you spend the morning in meetings about meetings about meetings and the afternoon focused on what you really need to be doing right now, because, you know, there are deadlines. Then once again, you reach the end of your 12 hour day and all you want to do is pour a glass of chardonnay and sit on the front porch for an hour or two and try to relax before going to bed. And you do this knowing that you will wake up at 3am in a cold sweat wondering what it was you were supposed to have completed. Meanwhile, your task at hand, the one with the really tight deadline, well, it's making progress, but not as much as if you were focused all day. Time. Never enough, but sometimes too much. The balance. Maybe one day I'll figure it out. Maybe one day I'll have excess. A little inspiration tonight... "Days get shorter and shorter, nights longer and longer, before you know it, your life is just one long night with a few comatose daylight hours." ~ Brian in Cocktail "I must govern the clock, not be governed by it." ~ Golda Meir "Gettin' loose and killin' time - This killin' time is killin' me" ~ Clint Black “Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.”  ~ Groucho Marx “How did it get so late so soon?”  ~ Dr. Seuss “Time is an illusion.” ~ Albert Einstein “There is more to life than simply increasing its speed.”  ~ Mahatma Gandhi “Time is the coin of your life. It is the only coin you have, and only you can determine how it will be spent. Be careful lest you let other people spend it for you.” ~ Carl Sandburg “The years teach much the days never know.”  ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson “I sit beside the fire and think Of all that I have seen Of meadow flowers and butterflies In summers that have been Of yellow leaves and gossamer In autumns that there were With morning mist and silver sun And wind upon my hair I sit beside the fire and think Of how the world will be When winter comes without a spring That I shall ever see For still there are so many things That I have never seen In every wood in every spring There is a different green I sit beside the fire and think Of people long ago And people that will see a world That I shall never know But all the while I sit and think Of times there were before I listen for returning feet And voices at the door”  ~ J.R.R. Tolkien

And she was

I said some things the other day that, although meant to be light and "sarcastic," the perception didn't turn out that way. See, I blog because it's my out in the world and I typically don't give a flying rat's behind. I do this because I, well, maybe I don't know. I never knew you actually read this, and it wouldn't really have changed what I wrote, but I never intended to hurt you. We didn't work out... that's OK. And here we are, still friends and still parents, that my friend, will not change. I leave with Talking Heads and no 10 things And things were looking like a movie She had a pleasant elevation She's moving out in all directions

New beginnings

Well, that's a wrap. It's legally over now even though it's been over for more than 3 years. Thank you for the absolutely beautiful children, I will love them forever (and by the way, they look more like me than they do you, see, good things do come out of bad packages!).  I will provide for them everything they need to be successful in life. I will remain civil and border on "yeah, we can still be friends" (for the sake of the kids), but the joy of today just knowing that it's really over, finally, brings tears of happiness to my eyes. I could be an ass and list out the 10 Things I Hate About You, but that's already been done in a movie (which is a fun classic up there with The Breakfast Club, Pretty In Pink, Sixteen Candles, Some Kind of Wonderful and a gazillion other awesome 80's flicks). So what's next? I don't know, a new book (that was the last chapter in that one), I could be mad that I spent the last some odd number of years with you, but I'm not, I can borrow from Fleetwood Mac and "Pick up the pieces and go home." And the book is coming! Because I can say that I did it! 10 Lines is coming to fruition, I have an illustrator and the rough copy is on it's way. Little nervous about it, but hey, you only live once! "Did she make you cry Make you break down Shatter your illusions of love Is it over now - do you know how Pickup the pieces and go home." Yes, I do know how!

The 10 hardest things to teach children

There's no handbook when they are born, and even if there were, it would need to be different for each child. Some things are easy. Some are hard. 1. Shut the fridge (I don't want the beer to get warm) 2. Close the front door (I'm not trying to cool the world with the air conditioning) 3. Flush the toilet (at least we are out of the diaper stage) 4. Clean your room (or the puppy will take all of your toys) 5. Eat your veggies (drown them in ranch dressing if you have to) 6. Your clothes don't match (wait, that's my fault, mine never do) 7. Use your words (I don't understand pointing) 8. Don't stare at strangers (unless you are people watching, then it's OK, just don't stare long enough for them to notice) 9. A bee will not sting you if you leave it alone (crossing my fingers) 10. Daddy runs out of energy sometimes (let me sleep in from time to time) Now you know, good luck!