Dear available ladies

Do not tell my Dad that I hacked his blog. I'm being selfish, this is really for him. Really. But. I am a two lap dog, and ladies, he only has one. So. Yeah, it's kind of for me, too. I need another lap to snuggle on when we are on the couch. I mean he needs another person to snuggle with. He really is a nice guy. Short. Yeah. But I think you could just call him compressed and be OK with it. He works hard. But he takes plenty of time to walk me and play with me. I'm sure he would do the same for you. His kids are just adorable, I like to nip at their flip flops. Love me the taste of processed Wal-Mart plastic/rubber. It's wonderful. Oh, did I tell ya, the dude can cook! He makes some mean ass food on the grill. I don't normally get to taste it, but it sure smells out of this world. I digress. So here's why I'm here. Again, I need... my Dad, well, he needs... OK, fine. I need another lap. He's only 259 years old. Oh, that's dog years. Damn, he's old! He does this thing called work on a computer. I don't understand it, but he seems to enjoy it. Sometimes he has to go on trips and my aunt takes care of me, it's cool. She rocks. My Papa also takes care of me sometimes. But Dad always comes home to me. So, he is very loyal. You should remember that. We live in the country. I like to listen to the frogs and crickets at night. You should probably be OK with mosquitoes. If you wear cowgirl boots, that would be a plus. I think he would like that. He makes me listen to country music all the time. I'm starting to get into it, but honestly, I think 80's hair bands are the bomb diggity. You can take musical interests up with him, I can learn to love any type of music. Getting back to my point, he travels. And I mean loves to travel. So. You better be cool with that. If you strike the right pose, he might even take you to some tropical paradise. Maybe if you like him enough, we can all move there. That would be the coolest. He always talks about Chicago. I've never been there. I wonder why he likes it so much. I can't pretend to understand too much. I just know that somewhere there's a lady out there for my Dad, just like he is here for me and his kids. I wonder what color hair you would have. I bet you would give me an extra treat in the morning. Another thing, my Dad, he doesn't like a mess. There was one time that I tore up a pillow. Yeah. He was not happy. He likes to keep a really clean house. Everything. And I mean everything has to be in it's place. You could call that anal I suppose. But it is nice to not be walking around in a house full of cat poo. No, he doesn't have cats, that's just the dirtiest reference I could come up with. I can also tell you that he makes this black stuff in the morning, it smells heavenly. He doesn't put cream or sugar in it. I bet he would love to have a cup of it with you. He's silly, really. He flies by the seat of his pants yet is totally grounded and responsible. You really should consider. It might be the best thing you ever did.So again, I need a second lap to be comfortable. I mean my Dad, he's available. Shit, he's going to kill me when he reads this. Going to chase my tail.........

My new home (guest author)

Hi, this is Lola reporting in here after two weeks of potty training and life in my new home. I missed the kids, they have been gone for almost 2 weeks on vacation with their mom. I got to hang out with my new Dad while he worked. I had a lot of fun, but boy, my Dad runs a tight ship. Crate, walk, play, crate, walk, play. I found out I can bark and learned how to chase my tail. I listened to a lot of conference calls that my Dad was on, boy, I'm not sure how he puts up with it sometimes! At least now he is taking breaks from the computer and spending quality play time with me!!! Oh, and guess what? I had a video Skype call with my Dad's friends in Chicago, they have a dog too, I think her name is MP. Anyways, the kids finally came home, I was so excited to see them. My new brother was a little skittish around me at first, I was just so happy to see him, but I finally realized that he didn't like me jumping on him. My new sister is really good at taking me on walks, but oh my gosh, it is soooo hot this week, so we don't spend too long outside. She got me a new toy, a chewy giraffe that I like to play fetch with. They laugh at me when I slide across the floor trying to get it. Well, my Dad got mad at me a couple of times when I had a little accident. I need to get better at telling him that I need to, well, you know, go - I guess I just got excited and forgot! I think I'm doing pretty good though, I even have my own spot in the yard where I get to do my "dirty" business. Anyways, this gets me to my point. My big sister made a schedule for me. I'm not sure what a schedule is, but she must. She must have put a lot of time into it because it's 3 pages long. It has all of these words on it, and some numbers too. She hung it up on the fridge and keeps looking at it all day long. It starts at 6 am! I overheard her telling my Dad that she was setting her alarm for 6, but I woke up a little early and really had to go. My Dad took me out, man did he look rough. I guess people need coffee in the morning before they look good! Oh, yeah, that reminds me, I tried coffee when my Dad wasn't looking one morning, I didn't really like it, but for some reason, I couldn't stop running the rest of the morning. Back to the schedule. It's divided into pages, one for each of morning, afternoon, night. She must be really smart! This is going to be hard, she has my entire day planned out, what I'm doing and when I'm doing it. Crate, walk, play, crate, walk, play. She even has a bed time for me, what if I want to stay up late and watch a movie, or hang out at the camp fire like we did a couple of weekends ago? Maybe if I'm really nice, she will let me, as long as I don't abuse the privilege. Yesterday was weird though, my brother and sister had on their swim suits and then they went to the pool. What happened to my schedule? I just said "oh well" and went to sleep for awhile. I was so excited when they finally came back. We were back on track. But then it all went crazy. It was so hot out that we didn't stay out for as long as the schedule said we would. I spent more time out of my crate and playing. I feel like I messed up her planning. My Dad wasn't helping either, he wasn't paying attention to the schedule at all. We were getting the right order, but way off on the times she had so meticulously planned. Sometimes I had to go when it wasn't time for a walk, and sometimes I was too tired from playing that I just crashed. I think they were tired too. 1. I usually remember not to bite 2. I'm having less accidents 3. I love to play with my big sister and brother 4. My toys are so cool 5. I can't wait for it to cool down outside, I like long walks 6. I feel pretty tech savvy 7. I love my naps 8. I like to dig dig dig 9. I like my new home 10. My new family has a lot of love to give me! Lola