More likely better titled as Memorial Day weekend 2011 as the true morning after was so littered with pain that no writing occurred aside from a title. The moment you forget how to have fun. The time when you quit being a kid. The second you listen to the instructions that read "Not intended for adults." These are not for me. Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming - "Wow! What a Ride!" - Unknown I can say that I have completely abused my body this past weekend. When 8 hours of sun bathing is not enough, go for 24. When 1 bag of marshmallows might not be enough, go for 6. When a 15 foot slip and slide isn't long enough, buy 100 feet of plastic and dump a bottle of veggie oil on it. Just remember these things: 1. Sunburn hurts, I'm positive I have a lobster-ish glow 2. Dinner plate size bruise will go away 3. Hopefully it's not a cracked rib 4. IcyHot (that's 2 weekends in a row, time to stock up: Marketing or me) 5. Advil, Advil and more Advil, just DO NOT exceed the recommended dosage 6. Must take cold showers for a few days I was kindly reminded by a 7 year old the next morning that the slip and slide box clearly states that it is not intended for adults. Now had I read that first, would I still have done the things I did, um... Yes. I think, though, she was essentially telling me that it was my own damn fault! I'm going to suck it up and agree with her. Luckily, no one thought about getting the video camera out, so don't bother searching YouTube. 7. Time shall heal me, it just better be quick, I have a race this weekend. I hope I can race this weekend! 8. Even though there was $100 at stake for the winner, nobody made it the entire 100 foot length of the improvised slip and slide, thus saving me money 9. Veggie oil is a tan amplifier 10. Never forget how to let go and have fun, get crazy, take risks Will I ever go down a slip and slide again? I'll have to answer that with a big NO, but I can now cross it off the bucket list. Please, if you get inspired by this post, I am not legally responsible for anything that happens to you (please do not try this at home, I am a trained slip and slide professional, retired!) Lastly, for the first time since I can remember, I am nervous about tonight (not telling), but excited, and I have weekend full of memories that I will never forget.