Maybe it's hard to appreciate, but pure pitch black night is beautiful. We live in a world of brilliant neon, bright street lights, convenient light switches and flashlights. We always want the lights on to lead the way. Have you ever stopped to look at the darkness? Soak in the emptiness of not being able to see what is near you? Close to you? In front of you? Look up. Look up at the stars on a clear night. Look up at the half moon shining through a cloudy sky. Look up at the storm overhead. Wait for lightning to illuminate. Then pause. Breathe in deep. We were born in darkness. There's always a light. Sometimes you just need to wait for it. Then close your eyes, the darkness behind your lids is the same, isn't it? Think where you are walking. Don't trip. Think about the uneven sidewalk. A lightning bug will help. A little bit. Feel what is around you. Sense what is around you. Know what is around you. Don't run into the wall that has been there for a hundred years, a thousand years. 1/2 Just Ten Lines Salamander slithers Into my dreams Knows only darkness Wombat burrows Escaping danger
If you have never seen it, watch it. You will not be dissapointed. It's full on with a cast that you have never heard of and a budget less than my monthly grocery bill. BUT, it a rock solid good movie and here's why... 1. The potential for a date movie is awesome. I mean, there's a love lost scene in the beginning with "that guy" and kiss kiss with the more "stable" dude at the end. What date wouldn't love that? 2. The size of the shark puts Jaws to shame 3. It has a boat in it. 4. Super Shark can freaking walk on the beach, how cool is that? 5. Also, Super Shark can pick an F-16 out of the sky, yeah, the fucker can apparently fly. 6. There is a walking tank, reminds me of the Star Wars things (what do you call those things, I never got into Star Wars). It, too, like the F-16, doesn't make it. 7. There are girls in bikinis (not good for the date potential). 8. I lost zero brain energy watching Super Shark. 9. The gal... 10. I won't ruin the ending.
Water. There was a crap ton of rain this week. The ground is soggy. My dog hates the rain. I get annoyed when the mail person doesn't fully close the mailbox after delivering the mail when it's raining. The bills are drenched. Water. You are there every morning when those delicately ground beans meet the gurgling noise as you rush through the coffee maker. Blend yourself with velvet black heaven. Awaken my eyes. Get me moving. Thinking. Water. You meet my Ramen noodles, it's lunch time. It's cheap, I know. But those noodles just absorb you. And it's quick. Dirty deeds should be done quick. Bowl to spoon to mouth. I feel nourished. Time to move on. Water. What's for dinner. I boil potatoes to feed the hungry children I raise. You make them soft and smashable (not the kids, of course). In the crock pot, you spend 6 hours with my chicken. Warm dinner. A family meal. Water. Those cold winter nights you spin around in my microwave for two whole minutes so that you can meet powdered chocolate with dehydrated marshmallows. You bring smiles to red cheeks that have been playing in the snow. Water. From deep within the earth, my well pump delivers you to cleanse me. I stand in the shower, completely naked in front of you. You rinse the dirt from my body as I scrub myself clean. Water. In the spring, the random pots of who knows what plant that awakens from it's winter slumber. You help them. Awaken the roots that suck you in to become green and vibrant with beautiful flowers. Water. 10 nautical miles of you surround me on all sides. Your swells rock me. I cannot breathe you, but I can taste you. I can let you engulf me. You hide a life within you. Your children. Water. I mix you with fruit and sugar and yeast. You ferment. To turn to wine that I bottle. And enjoy on those cool summer nights. On the front porch. In my chair. And drift away. Water. You come down on me. In tiny droplets. And I spin around allowing you to touch every inch of me. My hair, drenched. My clothes soaked. I tilt my head back to catch you in my thirsty mouth. Quench my thirst. Keep me alive.
To know a person is to walk in their shoes. To know Ian was to drink coffee (lots of coffee) with him and learn to move at his pace. At a young age of twenty something, he walked with a cane. He was an artist and had a brilliant mind with a take on life that surpassed anything I could ever imagine. We shared art class together and countless nights of me not coming home until well past curfew. We spent many late nights cruising Raleigh in his Blazer, getting into trouble, drinking coffee, getting into more trouble and drinking more coffee. We went camping at the beach, sitting up all night drinking the mixer for strawberry daquiries because we were not quite of age for the alcohol part. I have many memories of "visions" we BOTH encountered when the moonlight danced it's magic on the moving ocean waters. White horses and giants. The sand. We lost touch for a few years, but found each other and once again, enjoyed coffee. The last time I saw Ian was in a photography studio where we did a photo session with some (I think) hot gals. We stepped out back of the shop after the session and cracked a couple of cold ones (we were finally of age to drink). After that, life happened and we lost touch. He seemed generally well, still with cane, but good. And we toasted to being over 21. Over the years, I haver tried to find Ian. Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Google, People Search. I had people asking me if I'd been in contact. The answer always turned up as no, no one has heard from him in years. And today, I learned he has moved on from this world. Almost 7 years ago, I lost a friend, a dear friend, and I didn't even know it at the time. We all lose touch for periods of time, but we expect that we will sync back up in a few months, or even years. Sometimes... that doesn't happen. I spent the afternoon in tears. I called the one person who loved Ian as much, if not more than I do. And yes, it was a call peppered with many tears. Life is short. Cherish every single fucking minute of it, because you never know when your best friend will be gone. Ian Sean Bennett, rest in peace my friend. All my love and we'll meet again on the other side.
"Ian Sean Bennett, 31, passed away Friday, October 12, 2007, at his home in Rocky Mount. He was born May 23, 1976, in Watauga County, Boone, NC. Ian was an Artist and previously employed with Lake Boone Photo Lab and Tri-Color Photo Lab in Raleigh. He leaves to cherish his memory, three brothers, James Tyler Diacont of Rocky Mount, Brian Cary Bennett of Prescott, AZ, Langdon S. Bennett of Los Alamos, New Mexico; his father, Brian C. Bennett of Alamos, New Mexico; his mother, Jennifer L. LaShorne and stepfather Jeffrey of Ft. Pierce, FL; stepfather, Dale W. Diacont of Waynesboro, VA; sister, Sabrina H. Bennett of Carbondale, IL. The family will receive friends and family Tuesday, October 16, 2007 from 4:00 to 6:00 p.m. at Johnson Funerals and Cremations on English Road. A graveside service will be held 2:00 p.m. Wednesday, October 17, 2007 at Oakwood Cemetery, 701 Oakwood Avenue, Raleigh, NC 27601 with Pastor Hank Vandergrift officiating." ~ source:http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/newsobserver/obituary.aspx?pid=96233871#sthash.qjc7wvGX.dpuf
My baby girl is 10 today. My how time flies! I feel like I should write more, but I just cannot believe that I have such a beautiful young gal that I love to the moon and back a zillion times, therefore, do not know what else to say except... Happy 10th birthday my love!!! ...and I'm not getting all teary eye and sentimental and stuff like Dad's do, and you know, and sniff, sniff
I have not posted in some time. I haven't called in awhile. I haven't sent that random text in many weeks. I haven't opened the 6 books that I'm dying to read. And no, the pile of papers on the counter that need to be filed away, yeah, the stack keeps growing. I'm not one for excuses. So what have I been doing lately? Chasing rainbows. I miss just10things. This was my relax. This was my break. Therefore, tonight, old school.
- "And pennies make dimes and dimes make dollars, Dollars buy gas and longneck bottles, Beer gets a barefoot country girl swayin, To a song that's playin on the radio station. Bad times make the good times better, Look in her eyes and you're gone forever, Aw its a helluva ride... Yeah, It's a helluva life." ~ Helluva Life, Frankie Ballard
- "Baby you're a song You make me wanna roll my windows down and cruise Down a back road blowin’ stop signs through the middle Every little farm town with you In this brand new Chevy with a lift kit Would look a hell of a lot better with you up in it So baby you're a song You make me wanna roll my windows down and cruise" ~ Cruise, Florida Georgia Line
- "Heard about the old time sailor men, They eat the same thing again and again; Warm beer and bread they say could raise the dead. Well, it reminds me of the menu at a Holiday Inn." ~ Cheeseburger In Paradise, Jimmy Buffet
- "Well I see the souls of so many friends, And I see us all back here again. With sandy floors and ceiling fans, A Rastafarian one-man band with songs That fill my memories like a tip jar. Yeah, that's what I see When I see this bar." ~ When I see This Bar, Kenny Chesney
- "A lifetime for a day Would be an even trade No price I wouldn't pay For your heart love I know how it feels to breath With you beside me I think about it always" ~ Tonight, Sugarland
- What I started, I will finish
- I will not go down without a fight
- There will be many tough decisions along the way
- I will not lose touch with work/life balance
- IT WILL BE AN EPIC STORY
Remember those times when we picked the eyeballs out of locust? Remember when I blamed you for drawing with crayons all over the closet walls? Or did you blame me? Remember the hole in the wall from the recorder? Remember front porch sitting and talking all night long? Remember carting kids to the beach? Remember the aquarium trips? Do you remember Meatloaf and Nashville (That was an EPIC night). Does your butt itch? 'Cause mine does. Yes, we had a few rocky spans of time, but hey, we are all human. All in all, we have a rock solid relationship, I know I can tell you anything. Anything! And you only tell Mom some of it :) And you know I am always here for whatever you need. I wish I could be there for your birthday, to give you a big hug and say, "Thank you." Thank you for being a wonderful sister, friend, front porch buddy, my favorite front porch buddy. Thank you for having such a wonderful family and all that you do for them. So... Have a... 1. wonderful 2. awesome 3. epic 4. super 5. kick ass 6. crazy cool 7. supercalifragilistic 8. beautiful 9. gorgeous 10. relaxing ...day. Make it count and have a happy happy birthday! All my love!
"What did you do today?" "I played." "What did you play?" "Oh. Barbies, Legos, outside, that stuff." Am I getting too old? Do I forget what it means to play? Everything is so serious. My list of 10 things times 3 that I need to get done? They get crossed off very slowly as the kids are out playing. I want to go play. To not have a care in the world other than to just have fun. Maybe in a few years. That is all for now.
I haven't shaved in 22 days. The facial hair is past the itchy stage except for the few mustache(ish) hairs that twice a day decide to tickle my lips. I just brush them out of the way and carry on. They say that facial hair grows faster when you think about sex all the time. I suppose that's why I don't have a full beard or anything like that, it's more like brown fuzz on my face. Three months ago, stranded in an airport bar in Phoenix, AZ, I bought a drink for a lady standing next to me. Both of us were waiting for a flight to different destinations. In the random of the world, turns out, we had mutual acquaintances. Small world. She called me last week, she needed a favor. I executed. After the "use me" conversation was complete, we decided to stay in touch with travel plans and meet up soon for a drink in a random airport. Random airport. Who the fuck does that? My bags are always packed, always ready to go, but 22 days no shave, 3 months later? And I think I'm wearing dirty socks since the dog has done a real good job of finding all the clean ones. But in the end, it's just a drink. And a drink is just a drink. And dinner is just dinner. Why is it so hard to relay to people that most things in life, well, they don't have strings. Even if you admit that you would like strings. Ten things are 10 things.
One acre of a gazillion snowflakes. A pretty blanket of pristine. Every snowflake different. Every one adding to the fluff that makes tomorrow impenetrable. Impossible. Probable. Practical. Ten inches, they predict. If… no… there is no if, there is when I shouldn't love you, but I do - as the best of friends