Honest (5)

Don't effing lie to me! I'm not going to lie to you! I will tell you the brutal honest truth and I expect the same from you. In my wonderful chain of event's last night, I ended up on the phone with someone I trust. And I was honest. You know how we all have those little phrases we say sometimes, and we don't really realize we are saying them? Well, this person has one. And every time they say it, I go giddy inside. So I was honest and said that that little phrase this person uses all the time is just adorable. Was this a come on, no, it was being honest. But really, being honest starts with yourself. It is true that a compulsive liar will get all fumbled up in the story because they are trying to keep track of all the lies. And they will slip. Why? Just tell the truth and be honest. If you tell me one thing and tell someone else something different, remember again those Six Degrees of Separation, we are only 4 and change apart, I'll find out, and I'll quickly, no, immediately, lose my trust in you. So you decide. If you cannot commit and believe that being honest is the best way to be intimate, and be passionate about it, well, you know what... go eff yourself. Sometimes, being honest hurts. I believe, though, that it hurts a lot less than not being honest. If you cover shit up...


... it's still shit underneath, and no, it will not turn into gold over time, or diamonds. And really, how can you live with yourself in a world that doesn't really exist for you? You have made it all up because you were not honest. That's OK, just like the turtle I recently had, I'm taking you back to the pond and letting you go. Don't call. Don't write. I have better things to do in life than to entertain you unwillingness to be honest. Yeah, call if effing bitter, won't hurt my feelings at all. I have pride (next time). Cheers my friends, for those that are hanging out through this all, thank you!

30 ways

Luckily I wasn't asked to write "50 ways to leave your lover" but instead, 30 ways to say "Piss Off!" Me and my big mouth, 3 weeks and 30 different ways to try to get the data I need to complete a project and we side track. So here it goes... you get a 3 in one today! (Which considering how lazy I have been writing, pretty good) Common:
  1. bugger off
  2. fuck off
  3. get lost
  4. pee off
  5. rack off
  6. take a hike
  7. cheese off
  8. tee off
  9. tick off
  10. torque off
Not So Common:
  1. bid farewell
  2. flake off
  3. git
  4. move out
  5. say goodbye
  6. split
  7. take a hike
  8. take one's leave
  9. withdraw
  10. buh bye
  1. go eat a pumpkin
  2. your shirt is on inside out
  3. i've got my oven on
  4. an apple a day
  5. is that your Halloween costume
  6. gouda is better
  7. stupid punk
  8. bite me, then bite the wallaby
  9. you want a piece of this
  10. your eyelashes are ugly

22 floors, late

Well, here I am in my favorite windy city, Chicago, but this trip isn't about me. It's about two awesome friends that are tying the knot tomorrow afternoon. Last night, the groom and I did some hopping (bars, that is) and I (re)introduced him to good old American light beer. And we got green beads from the bartender, and free shirts that say "Half way to St Pat's Day", but tonight I'm relaxing in my room, 22 floors above the streets of a town that I love. Tomorrow, I get to share a special day with two people that have become very dear friends. I look out my window and I notice this big white ball in the sky. A full moon (almost... tomorrow it will be). I stared at this moon hanging effortlessly in the sky. I stared at all the buildings and cars and people below and sort of drifted off. I thought about how small we really are. How many of us there are, all alive, busy, working, playing, shopping, planning. And I thought of this couple that is about to get married! Married! It's funny how you come to meet someone in life, and something just clicks. Next thing you know, you are the best of friends, you are hanging out for New Years in Chi, meeting the soon to be. It was all just too amazing. I guess what really was going through my head was... I was genuinely excited for these two. They really have something special, and in a world where there are billions of people, to see two, just two, find each other and grow their relationship is just amazing. So under the almost full moon, I tried to think of ten things. I'm in Chicago, this should be easy. And it isn't/wasn't. I was nervous, the day before the wedding and there were things not panning out the way they were planned. When does life play out the way we plan? Never! There were so many things to do. Last minute. It's going to be a wreck of a wedding! No it's not! Yes it is! No it's not! Yes it is! Yeah, you get the idea... jitters... Absolutely f*ing amazing!!! It was a beautiful wedding! On the lake, perfect weather (I swear the lake was like glass during the ceremony, not a ripple around, not sure if anyone else saw that). We were introduced to Mr. and Mrs. you know who you are :) (there I go with emoticons again, need to stop that!). The dinner was interesting, and ingenious. Put a bunch of people around a table and make them eat with their hands. Brilliant!!! And the food was awesome to boot. Ethiopian cuisine... basically you have this moist bread that is your fork/spoon/knife and if you are sensitive to spice, don't choose the spicy dishes (lamb, beef, chicken, beans) - I did, and survived! And it was yuuuuuuummmmmmmmmy! Now to get jiggy with it at the bar... Oh shit! I'm the appointed DJ. This should be easy, just play the song list we talked about - no - play whatever keeps the crowd dancing - no - slow it down, we are all sweaty - no - speed it up - no I don't have that song - wait - I have Internet - Amazon, take me away - dance - oh, no, wait, I don't dance - a shot? - oh, no, I can't - OK, well maybe one... Just a great crowd celebrating you two! (And for a dude that said many times prior to Saturday that you couldn't dance... you sure owned the freaking dance floor) So 10 things... I'm happy for you both. FINALLY YOU TIED THE KNOT!!! That alone should be worth at least 10 things. Cheers my friends, may life love and happiness bless you forever. All my love (and the kids) (and Lola)!    

Times a changin’

I have been under some pretty crazy stress lately and haven't been writing much, so things change today. I have this tendency to get put on these really strange projects where there is something odd, abnormal, weird going on with technology, or something new, or some strange integration. And I guess I kind of like it, it's always a challenge, but I also take it personally, and it's scary. And walking into unknown spaces is always a risk, but hey, isn't that life? So I've started thinking over the last few weeks (also scary) - and also decided that I really hate salt, or anything salty - and it's time to act (not react). I'm not going to do anything drastic, it's more slow mellow thinking, mostly, because I love my job, I'm doing what I've always wanted to do and I love the challenge and all the awesomely brilliant people I work with, I just want more! So I can't exactly share these new ideas with you now, except for the few that are already public, like my book that (if I'm lucky) might be out in the next few years (I never realized how hard this really is), but I can give you some hints... I've had conversations in the last few days with some really fucking smart people, and I realized that I have this primal desire to continue to learn. The problem I have is that I do not want someone else to dictate what I learn, so I'm ruling out formal education (there's another word I want to preface education with and another to follow the replaced word with once that word is replaced, just cant find either right now, oh well). I have also realized that there is something in my life that seriously bugs the crap out of me. It is to the point where sometimes, I pretty much lose it, and I need to figure out what "it" is! "It" has hurt a few people in my life recently, we are OK now, but I'm starting to put 5 and 5 together and when I get 10 for the answer, I know I'm there. I'm at 7.88627 now, so it is certainly close. It takes a little bit of soul searching, it takes walking away from some things and it takes standing up and facing other things. I'll do it all before I get there. It's kind of strange, when I go back and read things I've posted in the past, and my whole reason for starting this blog... I wanted to learn 10 new things every week and share, but what I've seen, over time, is that I've experienced 10 things every week(ish) and shared. Which then brings to the table, how does knowledge weigh into experience, are they interdependent? I think so, because you should be learning from experience, and if you don't, how can you grow as a person? Is this not the premise that makes us wise old men and women? Is this not the knowledge and experience we then transfer to our children? I know, myself, that I want my children to be better off than I am, not financially (but that's a consideration), but in what they know, how they think, what they believe and how they interact with society and what/how they contribute to the world. We can all make our mark, large or small, this is a world of many, not a world of one. As I'm rambling on, I certainly am thinking, what are my ten things, I mean it is about conforming to the rules I set for myself, but I just don't know what they are tonight, there's so much going on, and changing-every day. So I should leave you with one thing - "Who are YOU and what do YOU want from life?" - Maybe that sounds silly, but this (these) simple question you should sleep on, don't answer me, but answer you, no one has to know, keep it to yourself and sleep tight, don't let the bed bugs bite!

There is a war

I'd like to think that I'm a nice guy. I go out of my way at times to help a friend and I try not to get angry - ever. I love people, I'm sensitive and emotional. I'm agreeable, like to have fun and generally enjoy life. The dark side, however, is that I can also be an ass, just ask my ex! I can and will hold a grudge against you (ask my ex). The truth is, though, that you have to do quite a bit to get me to that stage (ask my ex again). So come on in, the water's fine, this can last as long as you want it (ask my ex, although years have past and we generally get along now). Things stack up quickly, piss me off once and I'll forgive you, piss me off a couple of times, I'll let it "slide slide slip-pity slide", but piss me off just 10 times, especially when some of them involve my children, well, good luck! Here's a little bit of Leonard Cohen, so sit back and enjoy! There is a War - Leonard Cohen There is a war between the rich and poor War between the man and the woman There is a war between the ones who say there is a war And the ones who say there isn't Why don't you come on back to the war? Why don't you come on back to the war? Ah, yes, I live here with a woman and a child The situation makes me kind of nervous Yes, I rise up from her arms, she says "I guess you call this love", I call it room service Why don't you come on back to the war? Why don't you come on back to the war? You cannot stand what I've become You much prefer the gentleman I was before I was so easy to defeat, I was so easy to control I didn't even know there was a war Why don't you come on back to the war? Why don't you come on back to the war? Come on back to the war Come on back to the war There is a war between the rich and poor A war between the man and the woman There is a war between the left and right A war between the black and white A war between the odd and the even Why don't you come on back to the war? Why don't you come on back to the war? Come on back to the war Come on back to the war Come on back to the war Come on back to the war

Magical mystical mysterious fantastical – fail

There are times in life, there are times in love, there are times in work. And in all these times, there are decisions you make. And there are times when these decisions are not necessarily the right thing to do. And there are times when you make these decisions for the benefit of someone else. And there are times when you make these decisions for the future and for the better of all. And in these decisions, sometimes you take a blow to the head, sometimes you take a shot below the gut, and sometimes you take one for the team in the most uncomfortable of places. And when this happens, sometimes it will backfire, and sometimes it will hurt. And when it does hurt, sometimes it will hurt bad and you wonder why the hell you did what you did. You wonder if the pieces will be able to be picked up and if glue will really be able to fix the mess you have thrown yourself into. And you analyze the events that have transpired and try to make sense of them. You will say "what if [I had done something]" a million times, you will say "if I only [had done something]" and "should I have [done something]." I lost my positivity today... finding my way in song 1. "It's a cold, and it's a very lonely Hallelujah" as I wander through 2. "These little earthquakes, [it] doesn't take much to rip us into pieces" yet you can 3. "Give me life..." and 4. "Show me show me show me how you do that trick" and I'll be 5. "Spinning on that dizzy edge" I recall a day circa 1996 (ish), I was in Virginia traveling for work. We had a big crew on location remodeling a store. I was up there for a week, but I had to come back home on Thursday morning and return on Friday evening (for reasons since forgotten). The first half of the week, I started to have conversations with a woman on the team, well, at that time in life, she was still a girl to me, and I, a boy. We got along well, we stayed up late after work talking about silly senseless things. We drank wine (underage) by the pool, we went swimming in the pool. On Thursday before I left, she told me that I needed to listen to Fly By Night on the drive. I was a Rush fan at the time (and still am), however, I had not heard that particular album and certainly didn't own it. I think I called my sister on my Motorola Startac phone and asked her to pick up a copy for me and I'd meet up with her, or maybe I stopped at multiple record stores on the way home. Either way, I was heading back to Virginia blasting Rush on the stereo. I was advised to specifically listen to In the End. And I did. I returned to Virginia that Friday night. We smuggled a bottle of wine out of the hotel, destination nowhere. And we found that magical mysterious mystical fantastical place on a dock at the edge of some lake. And we sat there. And we talked until dawn. And we drank the wine. And that's all that happened. I soaked in the warmth of a friendship. And we had moments of silence. We used the silent times to connect the dots and draw pictures in the sky. I do not recall her name, nor where she was from. I do not remember the color of her eyes or the tint of her hair. The only fading memory is from a song - "You can take me, you can make me smile in the end" - and we did smile, I remember that. And when the sun made it's way above the horizon, we stood, in that awkward pre-kiss stance that never came to fruition. And we talked about it. And I hesitated again in the awkward pre-hug stance. And she said "in the end" and vanished. "And I can feel what you feel, It just makes me stronger" Dial back to today... I was lucky enough to enjoy last night with a wonderful friend. I laughed so hard that I had a laugh hangover this morning. I smiled so big that I had a smile headache. And we talked. And we laughed some more. I'm all over the place tonight, and not sure I can tie it all back up and successfully deliver a single message. Nope, probably will not happen! I suppose the message of the crazy week I've had is that there are things that happen in life, and people that float through your life. And they mean something. And you may not see it when it's on the table, you may not see it umpteen years from the event. But in the end, it all comes together. 6. "Itsy bitsy yellow polka dot bikini" and I scream 7. "Ooooh, fire" floating on a 8. "Wave of mutilation," you should join me to 9. "Roll up, roll up, for the mystery tour" where we can 10. Brush off all of life's issues, present and future And in the end...

Be heard, be strong, be proud

I've been watching the streaming coverage of the 9/11 ceremonies this morning, brushing away tears as I try to explain to my 7 year old daughter what happened 10 years ago today and why Daddy is crying.  No memory I have is as vivid as this day, nothing in my life has affected me as much as this event has.  It's been hard to walk past the WTC site daily for the past few weeks and not get emotional. "Where were you when the world stop turning..." ...in a classroom trying to turn my career book to a new chapter ...in an era where being connected was not as prevalent as it is today ...in a younger body, still to young to fully comprehend the world around me A lot has changed since then.  We are now more connected through social networks and I feel that wholeheartedly, we stand stronger and more united, we cherish relationships, friends, and family more. We stand more tall then we did 10 years ago today, ready to face challenges and sometimes dangers.  We talk more, share more, want to be more.  We take pride in our Nation, and take pride in our heritage, our culture.  We are a diverse Nation, but a united Nation. We have come a long way, but still have a long road ahead. 1. Today is about remembering the events that have reunited a Nation and the lives that were lost. 2. Today is about remembering the voice of the American people. 3. Today is about the strength of a nation, indivisible. 4. Today is about a Nation, proud of her people, who have assembled under one flag from many nations. 5. Today is about heroes, sung and unsung. 6. Today is about generations, new and old. 7. Today is about relationships with those we have lost, and those we are fortunate enough to still have. 8. Today is about looking to the future, without ever forgetting the past, but not letting it stand in the way as we move forward. 9.  Today is about strength and courage, love and passion, hope and honesty. 10. "I pledge allegiance to the Flag of the United States of America and to the Republic for which it stands, one Nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all." To the countless lives lost by the tragedies of 9/11, God bless, you will never be forgotten! To the countless lives affected by the tragedies of 9/11, God bless, "be heard, be strong, be proud!"
Oh, say, can you see, by the dawn's early light, What so proudly we hailed at the twilight's last gleaming? Whose broad stripes and bright stars, thru the perilous fight, O'er the ramparts we watched, were so gallantly streaming? And the rockets' red glare, the bombs bursting in air, Gave proof through the night that our flag was still there. O say, does that star-spangled banner yet wave O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave?  On the shore dimly seen through the mists of the deep, Where the foe's haughty host in dread silence reposes, What is that which the breeze, o'er the towering steep, As it fitfully blows, half conceals, half discloses? Now it catches the gleam of the morning's first beam, In full glory reflected, now shines on the stream: Tis the star-spangled banner: O, long may it wave O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave! Flag draped from the roof of the Pentagon
And where is that band who so vauntingly swore That the havoc of war and the battle's confusion A home and a country should leave us no more? Their blood has washed out their foul footsteps' pollution. No refuge could save the hireling and slave From the terror of flight or the gloom of the grave: And the star-spangled banner in triumph doth wave O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave.
O, thus be it ever when freemen shall stand, Between their loved home and the war's desolation! Blest with victory and peace, may the heav'n-rescued land Praise the Power that hath made and preserved us a nation! Then conquer we must, when our cause it is just, And this be our motto: "In God is our trust" And the star-spangled banner in triumph shall wave O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave!

The elevator pitch

What happens in an elevator stays in an elevator, or so you thought. 1. The smell of pizza pie lingers 2. Yum, perfume of some beautiful young lady, you can only imagine what she looked like as you inhale feverishly, alone in an elevator 3.You end up in the elevator with someone you find attractive, your eyes meet, and it becomes an uncomfortable ride 4. A little old man asks you where you are from, informs you he has family just north of there, the point? 5. You get off on the wrong floor 6. When going down, you jump just before the car stops on the ground floor, practicing for when you are in an elevator and the cable snaps 7. Crowded elevators, you start calculating the possible weight of every person on it and compare it to the posted maximum weight capacity 8. You divide the maximum weight capacity by the average weight of a person and wonder how you can fit 30 people in a single car 9. Sweaty elevators - the smell lingers longer than perfume 10. Love in an elevator - I can dream

A day of goodbyes

Once again, it's time to move on.  You land, you meet people, you build relationships, you work your tail off, you network, you leave.  Today, I say goodbye to a little town in mid-Indiana that I had written off before I showed up, and then realized that it's a pretty awesome town. The architecture of Columbus, IN has been "ranked 6th in the nation for architectural innovation and design by the American Institute of Architects" with a population of only 39,000.  Not only does this town deliver on architecture, but is a great destination for the foodie inside.  My favorites: Papa’s Deli | 412 Washington Pieper’s Gourmet Catering | 423 Washington Power House Brewing (The Columbus Bar) | 322 4th St Columbus additionally offers a great downtown communal space, The Commons, that includes a spectacular living statue, Chaos, and an awesome playground that was really hard to resist. Indiana was a pretty friendly place, welcoming you as if it were your home.  This was apparent in the team I interacted with on a daily basis for almost 3 months, it was hard to say goodbye.  This was evident in the hotel staff, the car rental agents, even the flight attendants that I spent a few hours with a couple of times a week.  It was hard to say goodbye.  It was also discovered in a hostess at the airport restaurant once a week when I was promptly directed to a table.  What she didn't realize what that she was also the one responsible for wishing me safe travels home with a smile. I've done this enough times now, sometimes a week, sometimes a month, occasionally 6-9 months, and it's always the same.  You get over the place, but you hold onto the people.  So tonight as I weather out a hurricane on the east coast, I raise a glass to all I have encountered, east coast or not, and hope you have a safe night.  Cheers! Tunes consumed on the last day in town:
  1. Violet Hill by Coldplay
  2. Back to December by Taylor Swift
  3. The Cave by Mumford and Sons
  4. Let It Rain by David Nail
  5. Tough by Kelly Pickler
  6. Baggage Claim by Miranda Lambert
  7. Hello World by Lady Antebellum
  8. You and Tequila by Kenney Chesney
  9. Take a Back Road by Rodney Atkins
  10. One More Drinkin Song by Jerrod Niemann